My love life's a mess #1

I'm bad at love. Romance stories and playing otome love games are cool but when comes to own love life, it's a mess. 

Christmas presents arrived early this year and I received Haikyuu!! Tsukishima's Nendoroid (not cheap) from two different guys, one a friend whom I've know for years ( and the other, an ex. Thoughts like "is this an obligation gift or his declaration of love?", "Should I ask? Can I accept it? What should I do if it's a declaration of love? Please be an obligation gift." Ugh, why does things like this always happen to me. 

I'm a bundle of nerves when rejecting someone, I can't handle an awkward social situation well at all and maybe it's the anxiety or tension, my head hurts like mad after that. Stuffs like this stresses me out af. It's difficult for me to speak the truth when I know it's going to hurt the other party, and saying "i'm just not psychically attracted to you and I'm not exactly feeling it you know?" is not easy for me.

Either way, I always feel emotionally shitty, guilty and terrible sorry after, so I'd appreciate that he would take a hint and don't ask the d-question at all.

Warning: DO NOT put your hand on my thigh (or anywhere else below my shoulders) ever again during a movie. Unless you are my boyfriend, you're invading my comfort zone.

♡ Voltage Inc. ♡

The land of hot men in suits, ties and everything nice ♡

Been playing Voltage's games for a long time since 2013(?) Only a few friends know that I have a private folder in my phone dedicated solely otome games and thinking back, i used to hide these games because I was positive that people would totally judge me for it Lol. While Yan Chin calls it the 'hentai folder', Chanel just thought I was crazy to spend all my money on a game. ◔̯◔

AND FINALLY (after so long!!) Chanel gave my awesome men the game a try and her first story which was Eisuke from Kissed by the Baddest Bidder got her seriously obsessed with the game!! (heehee) She start playing every single story I bought and even raged at me when I didn't buy the guy she liked. Pfffhhh (งಠ_ಠ)ง .....

Yan Chin also started playing voltage recently and her first story was Miyabi from Enchanted in the Moonlight (wooooo!) because I know she LOVES her foxes. (like Tomoe from Kamisama Kiss / Ahri in League) Yeah. I mean, just look at this guy's /fox/ayakashi (doesn't matter) hotness!!

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(WELCOME TO MY VOLTAGE FANDOM GIRLS :D)

Yan Chin says I play too much otome games that's why my expectations of guys are so ridiculously high. Butttt buttt!! I like the guys in such games because they are all old-fashioned-gentlemen! and Chivalry in men is a very attractive thing indeed (●♡∀♡) They love hard and you can definitely feel their sincerity through your phone lol. On top of that, they are also consistent in showing their love. One thing this game thought me was that consistency is really important in a relationship and it keeps the fire burning. Consistency to me means I like you enough to keep trying, to create a lasting bond, to be part of your daily routine, to know that you're always here for me and I can always count on you. I'd like a love that I can justify without any uncertainty or having to doubt that love even once...

I need consistency.

To know that they love you and you can count on their love.

To fall in love with a person a little more each day.

I don't wanna feel that 'dead-end-relationship' feeling anymore.

I know my kind of love is unrealistic but I don't want to settle for anything less.

It's unfair to the other party if I can't to give all of my heart in a relationship. 

Because it's all or never. To give my 1000% maji love (anime pun hahaha) 

Goodnight!!