Stray Kids - Neverending Story

"I'll love you further than tomorrow and longer than forever"

TIME FLIES

Just realized that 2019 is coming to an end. 

& I've quite a few draft posts that I've be putting off completing like:

1. Korea trip 2018 (Halfway done)
2. Seventeen Diamond Edge 2018 (Halfway done)
3. Seventeen Ideal cut 2019 (Halfway done)
4. Musicbank in Hongkong 2019 (Halfway done)
5. Holiday with Liying + Nana at Hongkong '19
6. Krabi Trip with Yolo Party +/- 1
7. Kuala Lumpur + Genting on NationalDay '19
8. Lee Seungi Fanmeet in SG '19

Ohhhhh myyyyyy gosh!!!!!!!!!!!!

I need to stop procrastinating. 

& I have even more event plans coming soon like:

1. Sam Tsui Concert in SG '19 (ft. Kurt Hugo Schneider) - Confirmed 17th Nov.
2. Anime Festival Asia 2019 - Confirmed 30 Nov.

3. Johor Bahru Staycay + Liying's Birthday Confirmed 6 Dec.
4. SkinS Festival 2019 - Confirmed 28 Dec

TBC - Disney: Magic of Animation at ArtScience Museum (?), Bubbletea Factory (?), 

Wow. After listing them all out. I feel even lazier. 

Maybe I'll get some done when I feel like it. 

1 step at time.

Don't be lazy!! 

angelseah~*

Escape, Uncertainties

In need of a vacay. Away from my mundane life.

So tired.

I want to escape the normalcy of life, to travel around the world, to wake up with a beautiful view in front of me, and to discover all the aesthetic places in this world that makes one speechless.

Life would be so much easier if we had the answers to all these confusing feelings.

Afraid of falling, afraid of vulnerability. Just thinking of the past repeating itself haunts me.
What should I do? Feeling so lost. I need a hug.

Creating Heaven On Earth

Been very intrigued by tarot card readings and I have been watching them daily for almost a month now.

I have to say it's.... spiritually liberating.

Subscribed to several tarot divine readers on YouTube, while some of them didn't feel accurate, most of them truly resonated within me. Crystals, healing, cleansing. All of it.

They're also great motivators and listening some of them has woken me up from feeling lost and down. They're always encouraging me to do what's right. Somehow they always know what has been weighing me down or what I've been stressed up or worried about. I've been also watching horoscope specific tarot reading for myself and it's comical how they always describe Geminis as confusing. LOL

"It's already there, waiting for you to take that leap of faith. To take the chance and grab it.
So Gemini, what the hell are you waiting for? You Gemini, don't know what you want.
Stop thinking too much Gems." - Exasperate Tarot Readers. 

Haha. True, confused and like to overthink.

I chose deck 4. 

I wanted to choose another deck at first but felt resisted and anxious for no reason. Something at the back of my mind was whispering to me that it didn't feel right and instead a vortex is pulling me towards deck 4... Some might say it's the mind playing tricks with you but I'd call it a connection. 

Deck 4 speaks about how the people that chose this deck feel that they never could fit in, always easily misunderstood, always hoping to change the world to be a better kinder place. Foolishly giving unconditional love to people that hurt them time and time again. It also says its difficult to find true friends that genuinely understands them.

Alas,

I have always felt this way.

And, It's justifiable.

My blog entries has always been constantly talking about stuff like this. Always feeling misunderstood.... Angel's logic...having egotistical friends that subconsciously likes making others feel bad about themselves. Talking about hurt and the lack of kindness in today's society. But I can't blame them, it's me who has a weak heart. Too many judge me on how I see the world, judging me on how I don't care for some general things or common knowledge that everyone should at least know. 

"If you are fitting in, you are not in the right place, you are too bright to fit in."

Day by day, through tarot's healing, I learn to stay optimistic, I learn to remove negative aura and not let what people say affect me for long. If I'm not deem to fit in, then accept the fact that I'm not made to fit in. If I'm not made to see life the way everyone sees it, then don't bother. We're not robots doing the same thing. Be unique. Do what excites you, do what you want with your life. You are meant to change the system, to be a pillar of support to change the world. 

Continue to stand out, do what you like. 

Let people judge you, it's gonna be alright. 

Don't be afraid to make a difference, 

because all great things are wild and free.

Heaven and hell is a mindset, if you keep thinking of hell then you will be stuck in eternal hell. Take the time to see it from a different perspective, reach to the heavens and one day you'll be able to see the fruits and the beauty of it all.

I am million different things,

At a million different times.

I am me.

I am me, with no apologies.

Oh how I love her choice of words and encouragement.

It's beautiful.

~ Angel Seah.

Just Another Post To Rant

"Either you die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become the villain" 

As I grow older, I get increasingly disappointed in today's society. Just like how Joker turns into a villain because of toxic people who likes 'making fun' of others for their own enjoyment to make themselves feel superior. The movie came to me like a tidal wave because I could understand 100% how he is feeling. Many of times I feel the same, struggling so hard not to turn into a villain like Joker myself. 

Just last night while having dinner, we were chatting about camping on top of a mountain with a caravan and stuff. So I said that I saw a picture of a lodging place which was hanging at the side of a mountain and it was helluva spectacular. (You know, just wanted to share)

Suddenly, they questioned me what is the "side of the mountain" called. FYI, the lodge I was talking about is "dangling" along the side of a mountain & not on the top of it. I remembered coming across a lot of terms for parts of a mountain (like leeward / windward technical names for the sides of a mountain). So I wondered maybe there's a term to call the sides of a mountain which I don't know?

...  And I answered with a "I don't know what it's called". (Drama incoming)

& This was the reaction I received - The look on their faces when they looked at each other thinking 'Joke, this dumb ass don't know such an easy term for this? Lololol.' Oh the amount of schadenfreude I felt. (Don't tell me maybe I am over reacting. The only reason I'm friends with them because they bitch in front of you and not behind your back. They are not two-faced and their expressions shows)

Anyway, so done with dinner at that point. Their actions whetted my appetite & I wasn't n the mood to talk after that. This kind of situation is not often but it's also not the first time either.

Expectations vs. Reality

So I asked what it's called & they proudly proclaimed the side of the mountain is... a "cliff". Wow. Kinda triggered, was thinking that they might have a better term or word for it! 

You can call the top flat ground / edge of a mountain a cliff. But I was talking about the side of a cliff (Aka. the correct answer is called the face of a mountain *Point B*)

For god's sake, I was talking about this. Baffled by their lack of vocabulary but still want to show off and put others down. Stupid me for hoping more from them.

If you said its named a crag aka a steep or rough part of a mountain I would be intrigued because it's new to me. But no, you judged me "dumb" because you (thought) you knew the answer. 

ANYWAY! 

The point is that I don't understand why do people like making other people feel stupid? Do they like being mean? Do they think by doing this they are more "superior" than others? 

All of us has things we seek to know and there are just certain things that we seriously don't bother to remember or care about. Friends should respect one another, and not put others down. Nor should friends look down on others for their lack of knowledge! Putting others down to feel good about yourself is downright low, which speaks a lot about your personality. 

Don't say that it is a joke either, 

because if a joke can make someone else feel bad, 

then it is definitely not a joke per se.

Sometimes, things like this happen to remind me of what I should & never will become. To remind myself don't be like them. Please share knowledge without making someone feel bad, and don't put yourself on such a high pedestal because the higher you are, the harder you fall.

No one likes to be put-down by others. Nothing good to say, don't say. Repeat the correct pronunciation to them instead of "testing" them to say it wrong again. Or better, don't correct them at all because what's the point? Is it so difficult to do this? (He pronounced broth as broof after laughing at my "cliff".) Gosh.

Sigh, the lack of empathy in society today.

Signing off, 

Angel Seah.