Over promises, empty promises

I really hate it when people over promise and change plans at the last minute... I want a steady friend!!! Anyway, Sharlene was a great help! She threw me a ton of advice when I felt so frustrated which made me so stress. Thanks to her I made up my mind to do what I wanted to do. Even if all else fails, at least I've tried my best.

P.s Another thing that makes me mad is that i have to keep repeating myself. 
GrrrrrrUghhhhhhhh. I'm getting boring. I'm getting old. I need to calm myself down.

Thoughts at the back of my mind...

Feels like I've been neglecting this blog for too long and honestly, I don't know what to blog about right now... Life has been neither here nor there, neither exciting nor interesting. Just an old mundane life of an adult. It's boring. Been working at Q's as an admin assistant for almost 4 months now, which means I passed my probation after the 3 month mark, but sadly my salary wasn't increased and I guess because i'm considered over paid for an admin assistant maybe. I also took my final paper last Friday and now I am F R E E from studying FOREVER!! Tho last paper just ended, i'm kinda worrying about whether i hit the passing mark for that paper or not. Oh god please wish me luck (ू˃̣̣̣̣̣̣︿˂̣̣̣̣̣̣ ू)

& Wow, this year seems to pass so quickly, it's amazing how it's almost December and meaning, another year has gone by just like that. Many things happened, ups and downs are of course unavoidable, life isn't all rainbows and butterflies but what is important is how we accept it, learn, and let go. Enjoy everyday one step at a time, don't worry so much about the future and waste time on your present. Everything happens for a reason, to make it into positive or negativity, its our own choice. Appreciate the little moments in life and what you already have.

Side note, I am a little anxious myself seeing that things are going quite smoothly at work even though I have many things to do, but all not done yet and it's been dragging on for ages. I'm a tiny bit afraid that it's gonna be like 'calm before the storm' thingy. Even dreamed that got FIRED from work! What you think about in the day is what you dream about at night so they said. Sighhh

Random updates:

Taobao too much and now I am pretty much broke but i'm taking this opportunity to diet and just eat bread for lunch... talk about being positive :D l Going JB this Saturday with the most awesome-st people in my life l Envious about someone's love live right now! Where is my prince that sweet talk and acts like guys from animes T^T l Bought a laptop to play games with a 24 month installment plan thanks to Winson l Stressing on how to fill up my 20 pieces 32" heart shape balloons with helium and no one is helping l Wanted to play Tera today but talked with yan chin for 2 hours + and didn't got to play fml 

Nearing 2am, need to sleep. 

Goodnight xoxo.

EXCITED

YOISHHHA~! o(*≧□≦)o

HAIKYUU SEASON 2 IS OUT.

ASDNUIFASIODFJNASPAEXCITED

Updates:

1) It's almost the end of my 3 month probation working in Q's

2) My last semester's exam is in 2 weeks time & then....... GRADUATION!!!

3) Double eye lids by 2016 FAH REALLLL!

Till then.

maybe if i left, you'd realize how important am i

Yep. Useless & Disappointing 

Sick and tired waiting for you be to a better man. To be more initiative and mature. To know what you should and should not do. I really can't see my future with someone like you. Why do I feel like i'm the guy in the relationship, thinking for our future but not you? 

No money, fine. I'm willing to pay as long you let me know in advance. No work, fine. I sent you resume templates, proofread it, edited your resume and even sent them to companies for you. Then, I found a job opportunity for you but you just can't be bothered. Didn't even try to remember the position title and can even (almost) send to the wrong the email address when it's just a simple task. Used my money to pay for your bills, fine. Phone line still not reconnected after a month. Honestly, Singtel is just playing you because you are not firm enough to get things done. I would have got it done in 2 days max no questions asked honestly. Constantly at home but take ages to reply my message. Always using the computer for Dota and watching random YouTube videos, not doing anything productive. Don't even want to meet me with the excuse of no money (but the fact is you are just lazy) even when I say I can pay for the food and it doesn't have to be expensive. $2 chicken rice is alright too. I just want to spend time with you. But no. I have to literally force you to meet me. & you had to reply 'meet where, no excuses i show up where you want me to be.' what is no excuses? Do you have to reply like that? Do I need to have a legit reason to meet my boyfriend? It's not like i am asking to meet everyday no? & now you're ignoring me for getting angry. Ha. Forget it. Just stay home and rot for all I care. 

Sometimes I just feel there is no difference when i'm with or without you. I'm able live perfectly well without you, maybe even better. Happier. I don't get angry these days because I can't expect or hope for anything from you anymore. No money no career, you're 25 for god's sake. Not 12. & you're not even worried for yourself when I am the one worrying for you. Maybe your ego is too huge to apologize right away when i'm angry. Maybe you just like to make me angrier to a point where it's already pointless to say sorry. Is this relationship a joke to you? I'm on the verge of giving up. So many times. Used like a tool. I'm tired of spoon-feeding you, telling you step by step of how to make me happy, teaching you how to apologize.... i'm just sick and tired of caring and worrying for your future. Always thinking for your sake, going along with the things you like. (Like eating kfc or thai food when i'm sick even though my flu will get worse) For me, everything i think for you. To you, everything you say or do is about yourself. If I wanted something i'd have to ask you specifically. & Then again, i'm always asking what you wanted instead, always knowing and giving you what you like because i'd like you to be happy. & Right now, the problem is you still don't think that you did anything wrong, even when i told you the reason why i'm angry. I don't understand why i'm even giving you so many chances, 5 years, and you still don't know what to do to make me happy.  So now i'm gonna do what's best for me and set myself free.

"All relationships have one law. 

Never make the one you love feel alone, 

especially when you're there."

http://elitedaily.com/dating/youre-not-one-8-ways-tell-time-say-goodbye/1099469/

NEW HAIRCUT

Got a new haircut before going to Malacca. Been contemplating whether i should to try a new hairstyle whereby it becomes short when i tie it up since i couldn't decide to leave my hair long or cut it short. The hairdresser finally got the gist of what i wanted and please no more Japanese bangs, no more straight cut hair, no more full length fringe D; ......it's everywhere in Singapore!!! So far I'm really loving the end result. Well, at least it's unique, being able to have long hair, medium length hair and short bob hair whenever I want #cheaptrills (Pay 1 price 3 styles yo), but one downside is I've gotta blow dry it everyday and my hairdryer is broken. Not to mention that i'm just too damn lazy to blow dry my hair. Oh well. 

Goodnight

#DONTJUDGECHALLENGE

There's this #dontjudgechallenge trend going on & somehow a majority of people are displeased by it. But why? I feel that this challenge teaches people to appreciate how they look because the fact is that they could be uglier with missing teeth, uneven spots, single brows yes? no? (;￢＿￢)  I feel it also teaches society that there's no ugly people, just lazy ones. & I actually like this challenge because it teaches people to not judge others by their looks because they might turn out to be really beautiful ❤ Just like the ugly duckling story.

Sigh, why is this challenge being perceived as 'making fun of people who are less attractive' instead? Discrimination?? and Rude? Rude to who? People you think are ugly? Such an ugly perception to life..idgi.. Besides, it comes down to your mindset, whether or not you want to let this innocent challenge affect you negatively or see the positives in it. The people in the video are having fun, it's entertaining and watching their drastic change is amazeballs. It's rather impressive I might say. But.. there's always a percentage of critical people in this society who choose to see the bad point of view to everything. Oh well.

#nothinggoodtosaydontsay
#nonofyourbusinessanyway
#kbye

Past 3 Weeks....

Slept for more than 14 hours earlier today & i can't fall asleep now...Just finished watching the entire series of Kyoukai no Kanata and Baby Steps. Despite the art, i'm really liking the story-line for Baby Steps! It teaches us a lot on never giving up and always believing in yourself. Wordwordword. Kyuokai no Kanata got me majorly confused halfway through but their fighting scenes / romance plot is quite good somehow. It got me hooked after the third episode. Art's is good, pretty girls and handsome guys with my kind of humor. Lol.

Today:

Went for an interview at Comfort for the position of Payroll Executive (?) Took me almost three hours, consisting of 2 interviews, one with the HR / Accounts department, the other with the boss, a test on setting up a new business and it's external factors to consider, and lastly a personality test. I really hope i do get the job, working in a big company has its perks and their bonuses is definitely attractive, provided if they are willing to give me the salary that i'm looking at first... If all things goes well, I want to work as long as possible in the company. The boss is really friendly and looks reasonable too. It's good. At the meantime, gotta send my resume to more companies...

Goodbye.

Exam Over, 2 Weeks Break.

2 WEEKS OF HOLIDAY BUT I AM ALREADY BORED TO DEATH.

ヽ(≧Д≦)ノ

Exams are finally over and after a whole month of mugging, I suddenly realize that I have nothing to do until the start of my final semester, which is in 2 weeks time. & Honestly, 2 weeks ain't that long but it's only been 3 days since my last paper and I'm already bored out of my mind. Ermahgerdddd.

Everyone is either going on a holiday overseas or working while I'm doing a good job in taking up the role of a pig at home. Oh god, gotta find a job soon to keep myself busy lest my brain from rotting.

Been researching on resume template designs to update my resume, & so far i'm satisfied with how it's turning out to be. Hopefully this resume will stand out amidst the others!! I know it's 'not a must' to create such a 'designer' looking resume since i'm not taking up marketing nor designing jobs. But stilllllllllll!! I like it ^-^

All set to embark on a job, new environment, and ready to learn new stuff! Just SO HOPPING that this time, the boss will be a good one, no one likes a demanding or unappreciative boss.

Please let my next boss be like this! *Prayhard* (˘ʃƪ˘)(˘ʃƪ˘)(˘ʃƪ˘)(˘ʃƪ˘)(˘ʃƪ˘)

http://www.lifehack.org/articles/work/20-signs-that-youve-got-good-boss.html

Unappreciated

Have you ever felt that every single thing you do is just unappreciated in the family. Everything you do, they just want more from you. Nothing is ever good enough for them. Always being compared to what they don't have, why other people's kids can do this & I can't. Why can't they just sit down and understand from my point of view for once. Other kids out there in the world are taking drugs, clubbing, gambling, smoking, and not even bother to study. I am not like that, why is it just not enough for you? Why must you compare with with those who are doing more then me? Kicking out of the house just because I voice out my feelings? Is this even fair? Talking to me like trash.. and when I voice out my feelings and anger it's wrong. Am I not human too? Please don't say that I don't appreciate you based on your assumptions. Please don't say that I don't respect you when i just want my opinion to be heard. Sometimes I just want you to talk nicely to me like other parents, praising their kids when they deserved it. Everything I do is taken for-granted, everything I do is just too little and unworthy for you. & when I said what I did, all you can say is 'SO LITTLE, AND YOU WANT CREDIT?"

Since young, never once have I had any single praise from you, everything is just not enough for you. Stupid, unless, fucker, idiot, good for nothing, everything that can be said to condemn me have been said. Never once thinking of my feelings. You say I don't appreciate you, NO ONE LIKES BEING UNAPPRECIATED. It takes both hands to clap, why can't you appreciate me first too? I appreciate, that's why I do the things you ask. But when I do something, you take for granted and say that it's something I should have done. When i don't do something and get scolded useless. What am I supposed to do? And when i ask you to tell me, you say i should be 'automatic'. It's really difficult being being a daughter that then please you. Being filial is not enough, i can't even voice out how I am feeling. I'm just so tired. 

Suddenly, I remember many years ago I felt like this. No one will listen to what I have to say and or understand how I feel.. I thought my parents have started to understand me, but i guess not, it's the same since so many year ago. nothing has changed. No one understands me, not even my parents. Can't even tell my boyfriend, he won't even bother to listen nor understand. I guess I've gotta live life as it is, understand that it'll always be like this, work hard, earn money to buy a house, live my own life & find happiness in dramas and games.

EXAMS

2 days left till exams and i just don't have any motivation or urgency to study at all.
Oh god, I need help. Maybe I'll just work after graduating from this.

Lugged the desktop from the study room over to my room and 'gave' Yan Chin my laptop to play Blackshot. Reason being her current laptop sucked so bad even I can't take it. Sucked is an understatement i swear. Mine's 6 years old, her's is about a year old and there's already something wrong with her keyboard. Been playing Tera recently and being a warrior is strenuous so much so I've abandoned that character after 3 days and went for sorcerer instead. Oh, and bubzbeauty is here in Singapore for fanfest while here i am devoting myself to 'study'. Damn it. Some other things that are distracting me is my newly purchased iPhone6, Taobao and Initial D, Internet's the devil. (,,Ծ‸Ծ,, )

Current song playing. Hongki's voice is love.
Oh and play this song in speed 1.25, it's better. Really
Subin's voice is great too. I guess.

Study. Study. Study.
DISTRACTIONS.
EVERYWHERE.
~!@#$%^&*()_+

Optimistic

Sighhhhh..Once again life isn't acting out as how I've planned it to be. Now, i'm gonna find a job to pay my final semester's fees and hopefully save up enough for a end year Christmas / countdown trip overseas..  So many things I want to do & everything requires money. Damnnn, need to exercise to give me endorphins, endorphins makes me happy.. 

Anyhooo..

Gotta keep the faith because every cloud has a silver lining! (*•̀ᴗ•́*)و ̑Gambateh!

"One cannot surmount the challenges offered without having a preserving attitude" 

- From a manga that i'm currently reading.

Singapore, Awake.

Roads so empty, shopping malls closed, everywhere feels so detached. Everyone is either on the streets saying goodbye or at home watching his final farewell on tv. A historical moment indeed. There's softness in everyone's eyes that i have never seen on such an amazing scale. & i really got to say that this is evidently his last gift to us. He brought us together when he first founded Singapore, and brings us together again as he bids us an eternal farewell.

Dear Mr Lee, I may not know you well but i give my utmost gratitude to you for giving me the chance at freedom. Thank you for your dedication and great leadership that helped build Singapore from a 3rd world country to a metropolis, a place we now call home. Rest in peace Mr Lee. Your legacy will live on forever and you will always be the father of our nation in our hearts.

"When a man cried for a nation, he must have loved the nation.
When a nation cries for a man, he must have built the nation"

#Remembering LeeKuanYew
‪#‎WeOweLKYForever‬
#RIP

Wake up call for Singapore? I wonder...

Last Day of Work!

F R E E D O M .

It feels surreal that I've finally left my first '9 to 5' after 2 years of working full time. Suddenly reality starts to hit me and I feel kinda lost. On one hand, I am really excited to a new future but also feeling kinda apprehensive about losing the stable income that I've been getting.

Thinking back, I've come a long way from the person I was on first day of work and the person I am today. It's hard work (helluva stress, definitely) but I've learned heaps of things that I'll never have learn in school. Contracts, agreements, recruitment, accounting, work relations, marketing, project works, micro-managing and so much more... mannn, I'm truly grateful for this opportunity given to me.

Also, today marks a change of career direction for me, from 'Employed' to 'Self Employed'! Gonna attempt the role of a freelancer or another office role (whichever comes first) and at the same time try to pass with flying colours for my diploma & successfully advance to a degree in HR 

I don't know where I'm going, but I'm on my way.

ONE OK ROCK!

Time Check: 3:11 AM.

Oh-ho? I'm in love with Taka's vocals.

ONE OK ROCK's "Wherever You Are" on repeat.

Goodnight world :)