sayonara, arigato ~

Hello month of May,

I've finally decided to remove a "kinda" toxic friend in my life. Friends who drain you of your energy. Friends who stopped chatting with you, only for you to find out that she has been privately chatting up our mutual friends & even my close colleagues behind my back, going out with them without asking me. Friends who say something is "not their style" / "not nice" / "only going to do so-and-so" but not following through their actions after. 

Realised that my old posts has always been about you too, many times i choose to ignore & let go. But we're almost 30 & if things are still the same, I'm guess I'm probably feeling tired already. 

To you & everyone else:

Telling me that someone copying me is the sincerest form of flattery... is bullshit. If by "copying" my style or idea, undermining my individuality and creativity, being impervious to all the research & effort I have done is something I should be okay with, then sorry, I am no Mother Theresa. As much as I want to be a person with a kind heart, to live and let live, Integrity & Empathy is important to me in friendship. If you don't have integrity to do what's right and honorable, if you are unable to put yourself in my shoes to feel that I will be unhappy with what you are doing, then I don't need a friend like you. 

& If that friend had the same interest then I wouldn’t be so upset! But this friend acted like an opportunist only because she saw the "profits" I'm making with this interest of mine. (Also not big bucks lor walao) I'm doing it because I love it & I have been constantly talking about it! She wasn't even interested at all when I proposed many times before that when I said I wanted to do bracelets. I basically spoon fed her with my research, told her the things I liked & what I found interesting, only to find out she's going to do the same thing because she saw that it's an easy side income for her. If she is in urgent need for money & is doing this to survive, I would have helped too. But there's no reason to compete with me to do this because her rich boyfriend is sponsoring her to do this & her salary is already way more than mine. I am broke af.

Initially, she told me that she will only be doing certain things which will be different from mine, with her own unique style. And I am perfectly ok with that. But now, designs & styles are similar nevermind, crystals that she say she don't like last time, she is using them now. Things she told me she didn't like before, things I do that she feels it's "not nice" or "doesn't match" she doing them all now. (I have proof from our texts alright? & one of my pet peeve is people telling me they don't like something and proceed to do it after.. )

To be honest... I feel a real friend wouldn’t do all this to you if she understands that by doing this, both of us will end up competing under the same customer base. Never steal market from someone who you are friends with! It's also hard to react when someone who is once your close friend is competing with you for customers. I know there is competition everywhere, it’s just frustrating when the competition is your best friend, not strangers. 

Tip: "People from different industries are friends. People from same industry, doing different sub-segments are friends. I do software development, you do website, we are friends. Will even help pass customers to each other. But If you do software development & I also start doing it. We are competitors." 

When everything you gain, you know that you will need to take away something from your friend, knowing that there WILL be direct competition but still proceed to do it anyway due to "profits". That's not the same thing as being friends & rivals in sport, it's purely unethical.

Probably out there playing victim, privately texting people close to me, selling similar ideas & stuff cheaper than mine, maybe even telling people around us how "expensive" mine is. Also, don't go around secretly asking others about my pricing (you-know-who) & lowering yours to beat mine because walls have ears & I've been hearing stuff going on about you.

Whats more, I used to ignore minor copycat things you have been doing as it doesn't directly involve or affect me. When I opened a confectionery shop named Astuki, you coincidentally open a cookie shop named Mizuki. Even the coaster i used to display our stuff, suddenly you are using a similar one too. I mean, gurl, what are the odds? 

Lastly, I'm a little sad because a close friend of ours choose to promote for her more recently because I guess they are closer. When I started doing this side biz, she said that she will support both sides as it'd be weird if she supported me & not the other (which I fully understand). However it doesn't feel that equal anymore... & Truthfully, equal or not, what irks me is that she is supporting someone who's intention is only to earn quick cash / sells man-made & synthetic stuff / lack of knowledge / sells cheaper / anyhow cleanse / states the wrong benefit for crystals. It's an insult to my love for crystals, my passion & designs. Last time when I wanted versatility in my designs, she said that it doesn't match, but now....okay.

Some may feel that I'm overly dramatic & petty, and might suggested that I try understand why she is doing all this, try to talk to her to find out her reason to keep this friendship. But let me say it once more, actions speak louder than words. What she showed me through her actions says alot about her morals & ethics. Even now she acts like it's nothing wrong. All in all, it clashes with me, as I can never do what she did. Go tell her sell to roastpork next time.

Once close friends, now just an acquaintance.

Creating Heaven On Earth

Been very intrigued by tarot card readings and I have been watching them daily for almost a month now.

I have to say it's.... spiritually liberating.

Subscribed to several tarot divine readers on YouTube, while some of them didn't feel accurate, most of them truly resonated within me. Crystals, healing, cleansing. All of it.

They're also great motivators and listening some of them has woken me up from feeling lost and down. They're always encouraging me to do what's right. Somehow they always know what has been weighing me down or what I've been stressed up or worried about. I've been also watching horoscope specific tarot reading for myself and it's comical how they always describe Geminis as confusing. LOL

"It's already there, waiting for you to take that leap of faith. To take the chance and grab it.
So Gemini, what the hell are you waiting for? You Gemini, don't know what you want.
Stop thinking too much Gems." - Exasperate Tarot Readers. 

Haha. True, confused and like to overthink.

I chose deck 4. 

I wanted to choose another deck at first but felt resisted and anxious for no reason. Something at the back of my mind was whispering to me that it didn't feel right and instead a vortex is pulling me towards deck 4... Some might say it's the mind playing tricks with you but I'd call it a connection. 

Deck 4 speaks about how the people that chose this deck feel that they never could fit in, always easily misunderstood, always hoping to change the world to be a better kinder place. Foolishly giving unconditional love to people that hurt them time and time again. It also says its difficult to find true friends that genuinely understands them.

Alas,

I have always felt this way.

And, It's justifiable.

My blog entries has always been constantly talking about stuff like this. Always feeling misunderstood.... Angel's logic...having egotistical friends that subconsciously likes making others feel bad about themselves. Talking about hurt and the lack of kindness in today's society. But I can't blame them, it's me who has a weak heart. Too many judge me on how I see the world, judging me on how I don't care for some general things or common knowledge that everyone should at least know. 

"If you are fitting in, you are not in the right place, you are too bright to fit in."

Day by day, through tarot's healing, I learn to stay optimistic, I learn to remove negative aura and not let what people say affect me for long. If I'm not deem to fit in, then accept the fact that I'm not made to fit in. If I'm not made to see life the way everyone sees it, then don't bother. We're not robots doing the same thing. Be unique. Do what excites you, do what you want with your life. You are meant to change the system, to be a pillar of support to change the world. 

Continue to stand out, do what you like. 

Let people judge you, it's gonna be alright. 

Don't be afraid to make a difference, 

because all great things are wild and free.

Heaven and hell is a mindset, if you keep thinking of hell then you will be stuck in eternal hell. Take the time to see it from a different perspective, reach to the heavens and one day you'll be able to see the fruits and the beauty of it all.

I am million different things,

At a million different times.

I am me.

I am me, with no apologies.

Oh how I love her choice of words and encouragement.

It's beautiful.

~ Angel Seah.

Just Another Post To Rant

"Either you die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become the villain" 

As I grow older, I get increasingly disappointed in today's society. Just like how Joker turns into a villain because of toxic people who likes 'making fun' of others for their own enjoyment to make themselves feel superior. The movie came to me like a tidal wave because I could understand 100% how he is feeling. Many of times I feel the same, struggling so hard not to turn into a villain like Joker myself. 

Just last night while having dinner, we were chatting about camping on top of a mountain with a caravan and stuff. So I said that I saw a picture of a lodging place which was hanging at the side of a mountain and it was helluva spectacular. (You know, just wanted to share)

Suddenly, they questioned me what is the "side of the mountain" called. FYI, the lodge I was talking about is "dangling" along the side of a mountain & not on the top of it. I remembered coming across a lot of terms for parts of a mountain (like leeward / windward technical names for the sides of a mountain). So I wondered maybe there's a term to call the sides of a mountain which I don't know?

...  And I answered with a "I don't know what it's called". (Drama incoming)

& This was the reaction I received - The look on their faces when they looked at each other thinking 'Joke, this dumb ass don't know such an easy term for this? Lololol.' Oh the amount of schadenfreude I felt. (Don't tell me maybe I am over reacting. The only reason I'm friends with them because they bitch in front of you and not behind your back. They are not two-faced and their expressions shows)

Anyway, so done with dinner at that point. Their actions whetted my appetite & I wasn't n the mood to talk after that. This kind of situation is not often but it's also not the first time either.

Expectations vs. Reality

So I asked what it's called & they proudly proclaimed the side of the mountain is... a "cliff". Wow. Kinda triggered, was thinking that they might have a better term or word for it! 

You can call the top flat ground / edge of a mountain a cliff. But I was talking about the side of a cliff (Aka. the correct answer is called the face of a mountain *Point B*)

For god's sake, I was talking about this. Baffled by their lack of vocabulary but still want to show off and put others down. Stupid me for hoping more from them.

If you said its named a crag aka a steep or rough part of a mountain I would be intrigued because it's new to me. But no, you judged me "dumb" because you (thought) you knew the answer. 

ANYWAY! 

The point is that I don't understand why do people like making other people feel stupid? Do they like being mean? Do they think by doing this they are more "superior" than others? 

All of us has things we seek to know and there are just certain things that we seriously don't bother to remember or care about. Friends should respect one another, and not put others down. Nor should friends look down on others for their lack of knowledge! Putting others down to feel good about yourself is downright low, which speaks a lot about your personality. 

Don't say that it is a joke either, 

because if a joke can make someone else feel bad, 

then it is definitely not a joke per se.

Sometimes, things like this happen to remind me of what I should & never will become. To remind myself don't be like them. Please share knowledge without making someone feel bad, and don't put yourself on such a high pedestal because the higher you are, the harder you fall.

No one likes to be put-down by others. Nothing good to say, don't say. Repeat the correct pronunciation to them instead of "testing" them to say it wrong again. Or better, don't correct them at all because what's the point? Is it so difficult to do this? (He pronounced broth as broof after laughing at my "cliff".) Gosh.

Sigh, the lack of empathy in society today.

Signing off, 

Angel Seah.

What is Love?

Everyone around me has been asking this question....

"Why don't you go find a boyfriend?"

And I'll always reply with....

"喜欢的不出现，出现的不喜欢"

I've also been telling the people around me that getting a boyfriend has never appeared in my mind. I like being single... I'm comfortable being alone. I rather live a high quality life being single, than be stuck in a bad relationship. 

But honestly, it's actually not the case.... and the truth is, I'm just feel extremely afraid of getting hurt once more and I have no guts to give love another try. Even though I feel that I have gotten over the past relationship, my heart still stings when I think about it. I acknowledge that I have an extremely high expectations for relationships.. and the trauma of countless arguments, being lied to, hearing friends get cheated on, divorce cases, disappointments, being let down, broken promises, expectations vs. reality, I can still remember the pain of my heart shattering, getting depressed, crying everyday, tearing up suddenly, being tired and emotionally drained. 

I am traumatized. I am afraid. What if this happens again?

Somebody save me. But I don't know if I want to be saved. 

Expectations Vs Reality

Just. In. A. Mood. To. Rant.

Love is to me not letting anyone bad mouth you or letting the one you love get the shorter end of the stick. (Instead of laughing along with others or turning a blind eye saying its none of your business.) Love to me is to make sacrifices for the person you love to be happy, because you don't want them to feel sad. Love to me is also not by using money, gifts and superficial means, instead, love to me is honest and straight forward like how we're like when we were kids, love is endless giving through words, attentiveness and thoughtfulness, love is never having to guess or ask for it. Love is being able to give 100% of my love and to be able to receive 120% back in return in order to keep the fire burning. The only fight I want in a relationship should only be fighting to show who loves who more.

"What can I do more to make her happy?"... "A wife should be doted on, whatever my wife says goes."... "In this entire lifetime, there's not even enough time for me to look at you, so why would i waste my time looking at others?" Attentive, doting, dependable, giving you a sense of security, trustworthy, thoughtful, affectionate, kind, honest, reliable, there for you when you need him (even when it's inconvenient), growth oriented (a guy who won't say it's your problem and this is the way he is and you need to deal with it). Someone that gives you emotional support when you had a rough day instead of giving you a matter of fact advice that might be useful but hurtful to you when he doesn't empathize with what you're going through or make you feel better.

Love to me is, even when the whole world was to go against you, I will fight against the whole world for you. Love to me is, if you are able to make me feel like your queen, I will do whatever it takes to make you a king.

My expectations are so high i'm never gonna get married Uwuuuu. LOL Just kidding. Can I just transverse into novel world or anime world. Been reading so many time travel novels these days, mostly about fighting and martial arts and hellawesome mecha fights! BUT the MLs are still husband material (even though it's not a pure romance novel) 

Men like that only appears in novels though.... or giving a benefit of doubt, maybe 0.01% in the entire universe...(#aka aliens) ._.

HAH. Goodbye.

A Low Quality Love is Inferior to a High Quality Solitude

Reading a huge amount of C-novels these days and its affecting my already non-existent social life.

Not that I mind.

Completed reading - Full Marks Hidden Marriage: Pick Up a Son, Get a Free Husband (许你万丈光芒好)

Currently reading - Ghost Emperor Wild Wife (鬼帝狂妻：纨绔大小姐) & Adorable Food Goddess (萌妻食神)

Love strong female leads + cold and aloof but behind-the-scene loyal and affectionate (Tsundere) male leads! 

And also like Tsunderes with a bit of child-like/innocent personality, those that gets overly protective and jealous easily when their MC gets 'stolen' by someone else, and makes a fuss about it. Those kinds are sooooooooo cute!! 

Men like that are everywhere in mangas and novels but not in real life, why??? Tchh.

Click to see → Why are Tsunderes so Attractive???

Narcissism, Manners and Etiquette

PMS days just makes me feel like shit. Why do people like to make fun of others knowledge and look down on others? Unfortunately, I'm feeling down today and need to release some pent up frustrations. Thank god I have a place to vent.

Was eating dinner yesterday when suddenly a subject popped up in the conversation and someone just said my head looks big and for some reason it was linked to a big head having a big brain but,,,,, why am I still so stupid? ... Here I am minding my own business eating my food and this happens.

'Supposedly' having a bigger brain is smarter So they tried to "prove it" by asking me math questions (I'm bad at math). Wow. Some people are just shit. *Roll eyes*

Did you know? : A big brain alone doesn't equate with smarts. If it did, elephants and sperm whales would win all the spelling bees. Rather, scientists look at brain mass relative to body mass in order to make any speculation about a creature's cognitive abilities....

....Sigh, sometimes I question who really are the idiotic ones. 

Empty vessels really makes the most noise... Don't blow your own horn unless you have what it takes ok? 

Tbh, I felt kinda hurt because of the sudden verbal abuse (due to pms) but 君子不計小人過 so instead of flaring up and replied lamely by saying math is not really important because we can't communicate in math. So why is being bad at math = stupid? We communicate in English, how about a 1 + 1 = Fuck you 2 / too?

Why are you calling me stupid with a smug better-in-math-than-you face?

I don't understand why was I attacked for no reason either. Your point?

What's your objective? To indulge in your own ego? 

To come across as “above others” or "obnoxious"?

Truth is, what I really wanted to say was at least I don't down on others that aren't academic smart and constantly condemn others. The amount of schadenfreude is disappointing.  

I guess "narcissism on the rise" is really true and belittling others to inflate their ego, play the classic “I hate drama” card and "I'll just apologize to stop this pointless argument because I cant never win your "logic" and in the end make the wronged person look bad as the main goal in mind.

“Some people try to be tall by cutting off the heads of others.”  

Honestly, who are you to say I'm stupid when some people can't even write a grammatically correct sentence. Not remembering lefts and right? Or differentiating her, him, he or she? We speak and read in English, not Math. We don't practice Math everyday but converse with English daily. The definition of stupid is said to be showing poor judgement or little intelligence, so who's to say I'm stupid if that's the case? Personally, I feel that one shouldn't act smart or show off because it becomes a double edge sword when you're wrong, making you look stupid instead. 

And all that bullshit ' treasure our relationship' and 'angel's logic' when you can't make a stand or state your point in an argument only to give up halfway. Are you like 5? At least 5 years old nowadays knows not to hurt people with words and giving pointless remarks just to make themselves look good...

Some people need to re-learn the concept of good manners the rules of etiquette to know how to be respectful and considerate of other people's feelings. Why am I getting hurt emotionally by the people I least expect?!!!! I need to grow up and harden my heart. 

Don't be that bad guy in novels that everyone loves to hate. 

有时候觉得自己一个人是否比较好，至少没有人能伤你的心。

我也不用认为了解你，但事实上是最不懂你心的人。

Where is my Yun Xiao or Lu Ting Xiao that will speak up for me when I'm getting bullied or made fun off? :(

- angelseah

Late Night Thoughts

Feeling drained recently and work has been giving me a massive headache. Helping a colleague at work that doesn't know how to do anything. Also, problems with shipping arrived earlier and I don't know how to break this bad news to my boss. He ain't gonna like it and it's gonna be on me even though it's not really my fault. There's also a huge pile of work not done on my part and there's only 2 weeks left till Chinese New Year!! Ah... its hard... T^T...*Deep breaths* But I can do this... one step at a time. Focus.

I think I've lived my life long enough to learn how to bury emotional pain and conceal hurt, because acting indifferent or nonchalant feels easier. I do wish for someone who can truly understand my way of expressing feelings though, someone whom I can talk to without getting shut-down in between or pegging my rant as something not worth getting stressed up and upset about. Sadly, I have yet to meet one. It's also depressing that everyone puts my "angel logic" down too, making it a bad thing and not bothering to understand where I'm coming from either... Instead I laugh it off and honestly, it's kinda despondent. Everyone only "thinks" that they understand me but I'm just misunderstood. 

Trying to stay positive... putting up a strong front everyday... and acting like everything's alright even though I'm on the verge of breaking down. Sometimes I ask myself... shouldn't i be used to it by now? People are always thinking for themselves. Selfish. After all, it's been 25 years...

People see me as someone that has no stress, no worries, no commitments or concerns whatsoever. But that's not true. Overall, I just look like a happy go lucky kid not because I am, but because I try my best to be. To be a good person in this very corrupted and judgmental world. It's hard, but at least I try.

Someone asks why don't I rant on twitter, facebook or Instagram like everyone else? Well, my reason is simple: I don't want to spread negative feelings to others. There's too much hate and flaming going on these days and rants like this are pointless because nothing is gonna change. I don't want to seem like someone who is constantly dissatisfied and always has something to complain about. It's not worth it anyway.

Cheers~
angelseah signing off.

Speechless

I'M SO BLOODY PISSED.

I want a dakimakura (aka. long pillow) casing with my anime guy printed on it.
Is there a problem? I like it, so I'm buying it.
Who the hell gave you the rights to announce it to the entire world?
Seriously, I had to request for it to be deleted.
Haven't you heard about respecting one's privacy?

I hate having unnecessary attention.
I hate it when people speak on my behalf when playing games.
I hate when people who are not close to me know about my private stuff.
I hate people that act smart when they are not.
I hate people that just don't understand me after so long.

On top of that, I'm having my pms. 

& To all the men out there: Don't say that you'll treat a women well only when she is having her pms. Saying that just makes you sound like a jerk. Please, you need to treat her well everyday not only during her pms days. Ugh

Jesus.

"Treat me like a queen and I'll make you king."

LIVING IT

I'm getting too comfortable living in my own 2D world. Apart from work and gym, I've been at home all day watching anime the past few weeks and to be honest, its the best time of my life. When I'm home watching anime, my world changes...like I'm completely drawn into it and I feel so comfortable being alone and that I don't need anything else. Does it sound crazy that I feel so peaceful being alone? Don't need for social life, friends or drama... & the thing is, I'm loving it a little too much. That feeling of my existence, heart and soul living in my own world.

Do you know? HAIKYUU SEASON 3 IS FINALLY HERE. 

Kinda regret not waiting for all episodes to be out before watching but I can't stop myself from watching it ﾍ(;´Д｀ﾍ) 
The feels from season one and two all came back. Not good for my heart.

Found out that B-Project Kodou Ambitious was written by the creators of Uta no Prince-sama, 
another music anime that I really liked. 
Gorgeous looking guys aside their music is quite addictive.

Yuri!!! on Ice caught my eye when browsing the recent new anime list. Recently I've been into sports anime after completing Season 2 of Baby Steps and I don't know if this is a bit 'Yaoi' for me but their figure skating choreography, music and animation absolutely beautiful. 

Gakusen Toshi Asterisk 

Gonna watch this too. Stopped midway and totally forgotten about it...

Signing off, angelseah

TRAVEL PLANS

Dearest blogspot,

It's the last day of June and what's left is the remaining half of 2016. 

Do you think that time goes by so fast as we get older or is it only me? 
& After this month of traveling, I've got no travel plans to look forward to anymore.
My mundane life will go back to solely revolving around work and games. sighhh
I've so many places i haven't explored & so many things I've yet to do. 

If only i'm rich and society isn't all about studying & having a full-time job.

:( :( :(

Updates! Had so much fun for my 24th birthday this year because i flew to 2 places in a month! Traveling has been so much fun. It's funny how i can stare at the clouds, the sea, the land and stars from inside of a plane for hours and not get tired of it. Hoping to go Taiwan, Japan & Korea next, Yan chin says that she wants to go Taiwan when she graduates next year! She always gets my hopes up but the plan seldom happens :( It's been almost 3 years since the last time we traveled together and i'm totally looking forward to it ❤❤❤ 

I'm gonna leave the romantic places like Paris, Greece, Venice, Maldives with my boyfriend next time. I want to look at sunsets together (even if it means waiting hours for it), take scenic train rides and have deep meaningful conversations, glamping under the northern lights, long strolls on the beach, road trips on the passenger seat with my feet on the dashboard and music blasting in the car, bbq under the stars... #RealationshipGoals #imdreaming #readtoomanyshojomanga

Time for some overwatch! Adieu~

Gemini Contradictions

It's funny how sometimes the ones that disappoint you the most are the ones that you least expect. Call me stupid to raise my hopes up thinking that everyone is steady enough to follow through the initial itinerary, only to find out the change of plans nearer to date. Not to mention naive to think that everyone's 'anything you plan & i'll just follow"' is true. Why can't i find that steady friend who doesn't change plans after saying yes? I feel like a hypocrite because on one hand i'm that friend who says it's fine to go ahead to do what you like if the plans aren't what you want. But on the other hand, i can't help but hope for a little in return... Oh, what am i even saying, who would? Like every man for himself, why would anyone sacrifice their happiness for another? It's the truth of society these days.

Ugh, gotta stop being childish and contradicting. I do it willingly and technically nobody forced me. Angel, remember, don't give and expect something in return. I subconsciously think for others first anyway. I don't know myself sometimes.

You're just being upset for nothing.
& Disneyland is love.

YOU'RE NOT SORRY

Finally back to being single again. Maybe i still do love him, but then again, it's exhausting having recurring arguments almost once every few days about the same old issues and promising that he'll change every single time. I am truly an idiot to believe that maybe a leopard is able to change it's spots. Who am i kidding. I've never been this furious my entire life. 

"you're raging on your own, i'm just looking." 

"You're making yourself angry. Not me." 

Saying this when i'm already mad?

Really. An utter disappointment.

You win. Hands down.

Met up with chanel today for dinner since winson is overseas at the moment and talked about the rom issue & at during then, i concluded this: 

What one person deduce is the "best" way of solving a situation, might not correspond to what the other party might hold true. Everyone has a different approach of handling situations and what might be right for them, might not be suitable for others. Example, I'd prefer an indirect confrontation while others like solving it face to face. Therefore, maybe, just maybe, what caused the dispute wasn't the confrontation but by how people handles problems differently what made the problem, become a bigger problem. Does this sound right? Some might disagree but idk, don't make something so insignificant complex. The more you think about the issue, the more it misleads you. Let bygones be bygones, we'd all be happier this way. 

Goodnight.

Thoughts at the back of my mind...

Feels like I've been neglecting this blog for too long and honestly, I don't know what to blog about right now... Life has been neither here nor there, neither exciting nor interesting. Just an old mundane life of an adult. It's boring. Been working at Q's as an admin assistant for almost 4 months now, which means I passed my probation after the 3 month mark, but sadly my salary wasn't increased and I guess because i'm considered over paid for an admin assistant maybe. I also took my final paper last Friday and now I am F R E E from studying FOREVER!! Tho last paper just ended, i'm kinda worrying about whether i hit the passing mark for that paper or not. Oh god please wish me luck (ू˃̣̣̣̣̣̣︿˂̣̣̣̣̣̣ ू)

& Wow, this year seems to pass so quickly, it's amazing how it's almost December and meaning, another year has gone by just like that. Many things happened, ups and downs are of course unavoidable, life isn't all rainbows and butterflies but what is important is how we accept it, learn, and let go. Enjoy everyday one step at a time, don't worry so much about the future and waste time on your present. Everything happens for a reason, to make it into positive or negativity, its our own choice. Appreciate the little moments in life and what you already have.

Side note, I am a little anxious myself seeing that things are going quite smoothly at work even though I have many things to do, but all not done yet and it's been dragging on for ages. I'm a tiny bit afraid that it's gonna be like 'calm before the storm' thingy. Even dreamed that got FIRED from work! What you think about in the day is what you dream about at night so they said. Sighhh

Random updates:

Taobao too much and now I am pretty much broke but i'm taking this opportunity to diet and just eat bread for lunch... talk about being positive :D l Going JB this Saturday with the most awesome-st people in my life l Envious about someone's love live right now! Where is my prince that sweet talk and acts like guys from animes T^T l Bought a laptop to play games with a 24 month installment plan thanks to Winson l Stressing on how to fill up my 20 pieces 32" heart shape balloons with helium and no one is helping l Wanted to play Tera today but talked with yan chin for 2 hours + and didn't got to play fml 

Nearing 2am, need to sleep. 

Goodnight xoxo.

#DONTJUDGECHALLENGE

There's this #dontjudgechallenge trend going on & somehow a majority of people are displeased by it. But why? I feel that this challenge teaches people to appreciate how they look because the fact is that they could be uglier with missing teeth, uneven spots, single brows yes? no? (;￢＿￢)  I feel it also teaches society that there's no ugly people, just lazy ones. & I actually like this challenge because it teaches people to not judge others by their looks because they might turn out to be really beautiful ❤ Just like the ugly duckling story.

Sigh, why is this challenge being perceived as 'making fun of people who are less attractive' instead? Discrimination?? and Rude? Rude to who? People you think are ugly? Such an ugly perception to life..idgi.. Besides, it comes down to your mindset, whether or not you want to let this innocent challenge affect you negatively or see the positives in it. The people in the video are having fun, it's entertaining and watching their drastic change is amazeballs. It's rather impressive I might say. But.. there's always a percentage of critical people in this society who choose to see the bad point of view to everything. Oh well.

#nothinggoodtosaydontsay
#nonofyourbusinessanyway
#kbye

Past 3 Weeks....

Slept for more than 14 hours earlier today & i can't fall asleep now...Just finished watching the entire series of Kyoukai no Kanata and Baby Steps. Despite the art, i'm really liking the story-line for Baby Steps! It teaches us a lot on never giving up and always believing in yourself. Wordwordword. Kyuokai no Kanata got me majorly confused halfway through but their fighting scenes / romance plot is quite good somehow. It got me hooked after the third episode. Art's is good, pretty girls and handsome guys with my kind of humor. Lol.

Today:

Went for an interview at Comfort for the position of Payroll Executive (?) Took me almost three hours, consisting of 2 interviews, one with the HR / Accounts department, the other with the boss, a test on setting up a new business and it's external factors to consider, and lastly a personality test. I really hope i do get the job, working in a big company has its perks and their bonuses is definitely attractive, provided if they are willing to give me the salary that i'm looking at first... If all things goes well, I want to work as long as possible in the company. The boss is really friendly and looks reasonable too. It's good. At the meantime, gotta send my resume to more companies...

Goodbye.

First Semester Final Examinations D;

Studio Ghibi's Piano collection playing in the background, perfect lighting and air-con for studying... the little things in life that makes me feel blessed. I might not be rich and neither am i perfect but i want to live my life how i want it to be. & Although life can be tough sometimes, we gotta smile, stay strong, start being positive and happiness will come knocking on your door. 

Quote from a manga i'm currently reading:

"No matter how tough life might be, or how much it hurts, if you want to be happy, put a smile on your face...Otherwise, happiness will slip away. That's why we have to smile"

Live with no room for regrets, angelseah.

TICK TOCK

The last quarter of 2014 is drawing near and I've been thinking...since the last ROM incident, i get the whole idea of why i'd hate the adult world. As immature as it sounds, fact is everyone is nothing without pretend. Everyone wears a mask, be selfish and gossip behind your back. Friends, oh what are friends?

I am having this mundane routine every single day. Every. I have come to accept the fact that my life can be quite repetitious. Predicament and such, in order to avoid this usual screwed cycle i must learn to accept things as it is and do the best I can now. 

Talked with the best-friend few days back and she had a plan to start a new business and her plans sounds great! I'd love to help and am anticipating for it already. Finger's crossed!

WISH LIST!

A girls' gonna do what a girls' gotta do.

1) 21.5" iMac - 3.1 GHz (windows)
2) Lifetime Brazilian IPL 
3) Double eye lids @taiwan
4) MyCloud - WD 6TB 
5) 7" Tablet 

Till then.

J U L Y

Time really flies, we're in the 2nd half of 2014. & i think to myself, what have i been doing this past 6 months? well, i've been working full-time for more than a year now tho i really hope that i don't have to work forever because there's just so much i've yet to see and do! ah, please let me experience a billionaire miracle. 

Feeling fat, started going for zumba classes & kickboxing with my super-on colleagues for just this month & then it's off to part time studies at SHRI. It's gonna be tough, but i guess i'll take one step at a time and it'll be alright. Gotta be strong angelseah! 

Looking forward to Hongki's proposal in Singapore too tho i didn't buy the tickets for his fanmeet since i've got no hongki biased friends D; but i guess i'm still able to go for his press conference since it's free! 

Made this one and only hongki wallpaper for myself!

Pictures as well, you can't find it anywhere :D :D

Over obsessed fan girl. 

Please no.

2014 I'M READY FOR YOU

I've been watching versions of Itazura na kiss for the past few days and really, the Taiwan version is still wayyyyyyyyy better than the Korean version, but then again there's Kim Hyung Joon so I'm not going to complain. 

New year resolution for 2014 would be to travel to 2 countries, get an awesome desktop for gaming, take up a diploma course in HR, continue to push through my current mundane office job and maintain from buying useless stuff Lol :@

Also this year, I want to be able to not look so far into the future and just enjoy life every single day. Why wait to be happy when being happy can be is your choice? why let unhappiness affect you, when you can choose not to be? 

"Don't wait for the future to be happy, be happy now. Because now is the only moment that truly exists." Time to stop judging, comparing, criticizing, complaining and gossiping. Accept the fact that not everyone will agree with you, and if you don't have anything better to say, just don't say anything at all. Gotta learn how to enjoy life & make the best with everything I have. Live life grateful for how you are now. 

Like one of my favorite YouTuber said, even if you had a tough year- lessons are blessings too. Truth is life will throw all sorts of things at you. Learn to see the light in everything.

Best of 2013, 1st solo trip to Bangkok with awesome travel buddies!!! We didn't really know one another at first, but I felt that this trip really brought us together and I'm thankful for every single one of them that made this trip memorable.

I also came to understand why it is so important to go choose the right people to go traveling with. It's not the where you go but whom you go with that makes a huge difference. But man, it's so hard to find a steady friend these days.

Last day of 2013 well spent.

Finally got to see fireworks close up, it's amazing. & Thinking back, 2013's a great year. There might be some ups and downs, but it all comes down to what you choose to remember. So remember the happy stuff and let 2013 be a great year for you.

angelseah welcomes' 2014.

Signing off-