Hello month of May,
I've finally decided to remove a "kinda" toxic friend in my life. Friends who drain you of your energy. Friends who stopped chatting with you, only for you to find out that she has been privately chatting up our mutual friends & even my close colleagues behind my back, going out with them without asking me. Friends who say something is "not their style" / "not nice" / "only going to do so-and-so" but not following through their actions after.
Realised that my old posts has always been about you too, many times i choose to ignore & let go. But we're almost 30 & if things are still the same, I'm guess I'm probably feeling tired already.
To you & everyone else:
Telling me that someone copying me is the sincerest form of flattery... is bullshit. If by "copying" my style or idea, undermining my individuality and creativity, being impervious to all the research & effort I have done is something I should be okay with, then sorry, I am no Mother Theresa. As much as I want to be a person with a kind heart, to live and let live, Integrity & Empathy is important to me in friendship. If you don't have integrity to do what's right and honorable, if you are unable to put yourself in my shoes to feel that I will be unhappy with what you are doing, then I don't need a friend like you.
& If that friend had the same interest then I wouldn’t be so upset! But this friend acted like an opportunist only because she saw the "profits" I'm making with this interest of mine. (Also not big bucks lor walao) I'm doing it because I love it & I have been constantly talking about it! She wasn't even interested at all when I proposed many times before that when I said I wanted to do bracelets. I basically spoon fed her with my research, told her the things I liked & what I found interesting, only to find out she's going to do the same thing because she saw that it's an easy side income for her. If she is in urgent need for money & is doing this to survive, I would have helped too. But there's no reason to compete with me to do this because her rich boyfriend is sponsoring her to do this & her salary is already way more than mine. I am broke af.
Initially, she told me that she will only be doing certain things which will be different from mine, with her own unique style. And I am perfectly ok with that. But now, designs & styles are similar nevermind, crystals that she say she don't like last time, she is using them now. Things she told me she didn't like before, things I do that she feels it's "not nice" or "doesn't match" she doing them all now. (I have proof from our texts alright? & one of my pet peeve is people telling me they don't like something and proceed to do it after.. )
To be honest... I feel a real friend wouldn’t do all this to you if she understands that by doing this, both of us will end up competing under the same customer base. Never steal market from someone who you are friends with! It's also hard to react when someone who is once your close friend is competing with you for customers. I know there is competition everywhere, it’s just frustrating when the competition is your best friend, not strangers.
Tip: "People from different industries are friends. People from same industry, doing different sub-segments are friends. I do software development, you do website, we are friends. Will even help pass customers to each other. But If you do software development & I also start doing it. We are competitors."
When everything you gain, you know that you will need to take away something from your friend, knowing that there WILL be direct competition but still proceed to do it anyway due to "profits". That's not the same thing as being friends & rivals in sport, it's purely unethical.
Probably out there playing victim, privately texting people close to me, selling similar ideas & stuff cheaper than mine, maybe even telling people around us how "expensive" mine is. Also, don't go around secretly asking others about my pricing (you-know-who) & lowering yours to beat mine because walls have ears & I've been hearing stuff going on about you.
Whats more, I used to ignore minor copycat things you have been doing as it doesn't directly involve or affect me. When I opened a confectionery shop named Astuki, you coincidentally open a cookie shop named Mizuki. Even the coaster i used to display our stuff, suddenly you are using a similar one too. I mean, gurl, what are the odds?
Lastly, I'm a little sad because a close friend of ours choose to promote for her more recently because I guess they are closer. When I started doing this side biz, she said that she will support both sides as it'd be weird if she supported me & not the other (which I fully understand). However it doesn't feel that equal anymore... & Truthfully, equal or not, what irks me is that she is supporting someone who's intention is only to earn quick cash / sells man-made & synthetic stuff / lack of knowledge / sells cheaper / anyhow cleanse / states the wrong benefit for crystals. It's an insult to my love for crystals, my passion & designs. Last time when I wanted versatility in my designs, she said that it doesn't match, but now....okay.
Some may feel that I'm overly dramatic & petty, and might suggested that I try understand why she is doing all this, try to talk to her to find out her reason to keep this friendship. But let me say it once more, actions speak louder than words. What she showed me through her actions says alot about her morals & ethics. Even now she acts like it's nothing wrong. All in all, it clashes with me, as I can never do what she did. Go tell her sell to roastpork next time.
Once close friends, now just an acquaintance.
