Another anecdote

Finally a day at work that I don't have "shitstuff " to do and have my 'me' time to myself :D

Currently in the office, both bosses aren't around and I'm hoping they won't arrive anytime soon. Taking this free time I have to blog my thoughts because I've been so busy at work these days that there's no time for me to blog or do anything worthwhile anymore, there's no time for me to even shop! Sighh... I need my dose of shopping. First, I need a new phone. and a new camera, and a new computer.

Didn't get to sleep well last night because of the day-1-cramps and had to wake up at 4am just to down some pills in order to sleep better. It helped a little, but sleeping at 4am doesn't make me feel any less tired.

I want to go home to sleep and travel a year back when I can work part time events and do whatever I want all. the. time. Going out in the afternoon, spending the entire day doing something worthwhile and sleeping at anytime I want. That's life.

But... I guess only with money, I'll then be able to do the things I want. and right now, I want to go on a long holiday around the world, shop, take lots of beautiful pictures and sleep. AND NO MORE WORK! Gehhh, I don't hate this job, but neither do I love it. 

I think I'm meant to be a lazy fat cat that eats and sleep all day.
Maow. angelseah.

Everything's Gonna Be Alright

Please paint me a beautiful landscape (?)

Sometimes i feel that things are still the same, only to look back realize that it has pretty much changed. I can't be everyone's happy-pill, pretending that I'm carefree all the time. So much work to do and a damn hell lot of things to stress about in life...

But as the days past, it seems to be better, than yesterday, than before. Every year I wish for some smooth sailing till the world ends, that's all I'm asking for.

Thank you for the care and support even though I've been a bad person to you.

Last mistake, I apologize.

Thoughts about Twenty-one

Suddenly I'm afraid.. afraid of being 21 and living in this atypical world. I want to carry on living my life blithe and carefree, but there's just too much things to be stressed and be concerned of that I can't possibly think like a kid anymore. That little voice in my head telling me to do what I have to do, I can't make mistakes.. I hate the idea of being an adult, the idea of losing all my innocence. I need to be stronger. 

If I die tomorrow will I regret not doing the things I didn't do? 

I do ask myself this every now and then, but my answer is always the same.

- I have no regrets.

I feel that if I'll regret not doing what I want, I'll do it no matter what and put it as a priority. Don't regret the choices you choose to make, whether good or bad. All the possibilities in this world, why live with regrets when it comes down to the choices we make for ourselves..right? 

A little bird once asked me, 

Why do we live? The answer left an impact though it didn't really surprised me. 

And guess what? We live, not to work and provide for the family, not to enjoy the pleasures in life, not to study and get a good income job, not to make friends not to love but....in actual fact, we live.. 

... to die.

Cheers people,
angelseahx3

Summer Birthday

Chalet ☑ Cake ☐ BBQ ☐

 Venue | Costa Sands Pasir Ris Chalet | Start | 6 pm | Theme | deciding | Dinner | 6 pm | Cake Cutting | 11pm | Midnight Movie | Bowling | 12pm | Supper | 3 pm

Gonna be 21 in less than 3 weeks.. can't say I'm excited but rather hopeful that everything will go well on that day. Have to learn to be less angsty these days to not ruin every happy celebration :|
 

I want to take this time to thank all the people who have helped me in my life, no amount of thank you(s) are enough to express my gratefulness. My family, love and friends, those who stayed and left...that made be believe that there are somethings worth living for ❤

 

Sincerly, angelseah

I hate this evil place

I hate certain people sometimes, acting all big shot and mature.... while treating you like a kid, saying how they know everything in a boastful manner. No one bothered to ask what I'm thinking and start to judge, all they think is I'm angry I don't listen to explanations & I don't put myself in another's shoes. 

Especially that judgement talk came from the one I cherish most. It's upsetting. I'm learning not to talk so much, since they don't get it. Then I give up.

Right now, you are only liking the things I can give, not for who I am, nor what I like. I didn't know you think of me as such of an unreasonable person. Always listening to you friends instead. If happiness instead means to feel so much hurt, then I've given up being happy. Because no amount of happiness can make me feel less hurt then I already am. My heart is crying but no one knows.

You know what's the best ways to avoid affection. Don't talk. Then you won't miss anyone. The world is so big, I am just a small human that wouldn't make a difference anyway. 

 
irony,
angelseah.

Life, A Passing Parade

B I G   H A P P Y   B I R T H D A Y

K E N N E T H  & Z H O N G P I N G

18th May 2013. A Hectic day

Hair dyed to copper red wasn't pleasant, chemical burn.

But hey, no pain no gain yes?

Ever felt that in society, there's just one too many ungrateful people. In life, we tend to expect what we give is what we should get in return. Appreciation, the most important basic rule that many has forgotten... which caused a situation of a letdown.

Words that are said can never be taken back, those vitriolic words that makes one sad. Miscommunication is an inconvenience, but also an excuse. Thousands and hundreds of ways to restructure a sentence, yet you choose to misuse. Don't know what kind of impact they're leaving here, so harsh, and unforgettable.

I know it takes both hands to clap, but it's only wrong to get angry & say spiteful words when you're the one at fault. I'm just really really really sick and tired of people that thinks they are all mature, saying to comprehend both sides of the story but already judging me. Sigh, let bygones be bygones..

Went home early because i felt the awkwardness in the room when i arrived. &no, i don't want that & i think you'll be happier without me there. Kinda glad to get to see you again, not when i just left like that. I'm a coward.

Why are there so many problems in life?!

Where's my once upon a time.. :l

angelseah -*

4 + 1 theory - by Zachary Liu

True love or fickle infatuation.

Based on this idea that whenever we like someone, we go deeper into what is it that draws us to him or her. However that's merely an infatuation. But when more than three of the aspects from this theory are present, you can be pretty sure that it’s more than just a feeling. 

Mind. Heart. Body. Soul.

1. The Mind Aspect, Intellect

The way she thinks, processes and analyzes things beyond a shallow self-centeredness. The way she puts across thoughts not for winning an argument’s sake, but to understand or even sensibly debate opposing views that might leave anyone reflecting on her words or make one think differently. 

It’s the way she carries herself off with an aura of sophistication and enigmatic charm, that no matter how much I might already figure her out, she’ll still surprise you with something unexpected. And to talk endlessly about the concept of nothing, only then will you be able to talk about everything else.

2. The Heart Aspect

What really matters to her, her insecurities, fears, likes, dislikes, everything. To understand each other’s heart and learn to accommodate each other’s differences not ‘because I love him and that’s all that matters’. But to care or find out the little things about you. It’s not a matter of whether it bores him or not.. it’s a matter of whether he bothers or not.

Two people need to give and take, for any kind of relationship to work. If he really loves you and you're important to him, he'd take a greater effort to close the gap in differences between you two.

He’ll show it by the things he will do or be willing to do no matter how inconvenient or silly it might be, just because he knows it’ll make you happier or better. Two people wanting to understand each other.. sharing the good, the bad and possibly a future together; supporting each other’s feelings, values, dreams, thoughts and emotions.

3. The Body Aspect, Physical Attraction; Intimacy and Presence

I think the whole love at first sight concept is bullshit that only exists in movies and fairy tales. In reality, it isn't love but probably lust at first sight. Lust at first sight, that momentary attraction or desire– That’s really just a superficial physical attraction. 

Which leads to

4. The Fourth Aspect. Soul

The deepest form and the final affirmation that should answer any remaining doubt or questions as to whether we've truly fallen in love with a person.

It’s when you start noticing but still appreciate all the other little things - the flaws. It’s when you truly know a person stripped down of all their walls, exposed to their soul and yet still accept and love him or her. 

A level of understanding and acceptance, when you finally realize this is someone that you'll always want to tell everything to; and want to ask/know everything of as well. 

It’s when you actually want to share your life and trust your secrets with this person; and you can. This person cares and will really listen, giving you their undivided attention and genuine love; This one person makes your problem their problem and they go through it together with you just so you don’t have to go through the pain and tears alone.

❤

We often and will find one or two aspects in different people, that alone may be enough to make us attracted to them. That is not love, it's just liking the body and/or mind aspect of a person.

But on a rare occasion when you do meet someone who possess all four of these aspects. You’ll almost definitely know that he/she is not one of many but may just be the one.

So don't settle for anything less.